Ban Appeal from John John the Marxist Circus Performer

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Lingering Profanity
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Ban Appeal from John John the Marxist Circus Performer

Post by Lingering Profanity » September 6th, 2018, 7:55 pm

Use the following format for your ban appeal, or it will be denied.

The thread subject must be in following format.
CODE: SELECT ALL

[user ckey] [punishment type] by [admin ckey] PLebius or Tearstem or some shit [durrr ban] by [I dunno I forgot}
The actual thread body will need to follow this format.
CODE: SELECT ALL

CKey: Plebius
Character Name: Zack Mieth
Banning Admin: Something about lasagna or gay whales or something, I don't remember
Ban Date and Round ID: About ten minutes ago last sunday, cunt
Ban Reason: Let's be real here, I got banned for playing security in the most efficient manner. There's a really fucking obvious reason why no one plays security... Because when you play with an ounce of self-preservation and treat the crew as they should be treated, like the violent, dangerous criminals they are, you make some grey tiding little nigger wah-wah about how unfair it is that someone was guarding armory and was better armed than them, and how if only no one was in the armory, they could just walk in and grey tide to their heart's content. It's absolute fucking bullshit. I've seen antags kill entire stations before, yet I can't gun down a man who waltz'd into security with access he shouldn't have? What was he there for? Was he there for the donuts? Was he there to get some non-lethal means of detainment? Cuffs? No, he was there so he could get some fucking guns and have a means to kill someone. I just so happened to kill him first, is all. The server is the god damned wild west, you dumb shit fucking morons. You act like everyone isn't fucking devouring each other. You're acting like non-antags aren't kidnapping and ruining other non-antags rounds. You're acting like security isn't constantly dying because their guns are absolute shit and a man with a toolbox and a sprayer full of lube dooesn't regularly kill sec. Bullshit.

I used the shotgun. You know why? Cause the shot gun doesn't miss, and unlike the shitty hybrid taser it stops a criminal in their tracks in two hits. Bang, bang, and they're fucking done. I use four shots just to make damn sure. Because, once again, I'm not there to coddle a buncha criminal scum sucking faggots, I'm there to 1) Survive the fucking round. 2) Guard the armory. So you can absolutely get fucked. If I get unbanned, which I won't, you can guarantee I will continue to use the shotgun to apprehend criminals. Because it's quick, clean and effective as fuck. Why in the seven hells would I fuck around with the disabler shots, which take half a clip just to bring someone down, or with the tazer bolts which are slow as balls, impossible to aim and do about next to jack shit, fuck all. The shotgun is the superior law enforcement weapon. Because it stops crime. And it stops crime by reducing the number of criminals roaming the fucking halls.

As it stands now, antags are allowed to prance around doing whatever the fuck demented, sick shit they feel like, yet security has to toe the line and be the 'good guy' while getting fucking murdered in the process. Fuck that. Fuck that right in the god damned eyes and squish 'em into a paste, that's garbage. That's a sack of shit.

LOOK AT THE SOCIAL CLIMATE OF YOUR SHITTY FUCKING SERVER. LOOK AT THE DERANGEMENT, THE FUCKING SICKENING DISREGARD FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S WELLBEINGS. THE ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING TACTICS EMPLOYED BY ANTAGS AND GREYTIDERS. Look at all that shit and you tell me that excessive force is crossing the line. Taking one grey tiding scum sucker out of the genepool just makes the station a little bit more safe for people who actually want to work in their departments and do their jobs... Which is almost no one.
Ban Type: Gayness personified in the form of a hairdresser/interior designer from LA.
Ban Length: Blah blah blah Jews did 9/11.
Why should I be unbanned: Ah, fuck off. You think I honestly give a fuck? The only reason I'm taking this even semi-seriously, and believe me this is me appealing a ban in a semi-serious manner, is because I literally have no other SS13 servers to play on. I can play on CM... which is... absolutely fucking horrifyingly dull. I can play on, like, a Spanish speaking server... or two Russian servers... and then nothing. I mean, wowee, I guess I could go play on a server with fucking 4 people on it. Wow that sounds fun.

The problem is that the autistic fucking admins on these SS13 servers, so drunk with power, so intoxicated on the scent of their sweaty ballsacks as they drown in 'decision making' and 'responsibility', things they've never had before, hand out permabans for next to nothing. Why not a 3 month ban? Why not a 6 month ban? No. A fucking perma ban. Nevermind that people change, nevermind that people have shitty days or good days, nevermind that FOREVER IS A FUCKING LONG TIME, no... Permabans. And then they expect you to appeal on the forums so they can have MORE POWER, MORE DECISION MAKING. "HOO HOO, LOOKIT ME MOMMY, I GET TO DECIDE THE FATE OF THIS MAN HOOOO HOOOOOO WOWEEE SO EXCITE, MY LITTLE WINKY WILLY IS GETTING CHUB-CHUB, MOMMY." And let's be fucking absolutely real here, the only reason admins want people to sign up for the fucking forums to fucking ban appeal is so they can sell the members e-mails to, like, Chinese realtors or some shit.

I mean, obviously that's what's happening. What else could it be?

In conclusion, let it be known that I am the biggest man with the largest cock.
Free will is inherently an illusion
Humanity exists in a state of robotic-like trance by default
Do what thou wilt will be the whole of the law
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Yske
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Re: Ban Appeal from John John the Marxist Circus Performer

Post by Yske » September 6th, 2018, 8:33 pm

Well. I'll be honest, this is an awful, awful ban appeal. Never the less, you were only permabanned because you kept spamming admins for 40 minutes. As one of the of the spams admin, I'd be okay with bringing the ban down to maybe a few days and having a four week sec ban for awful behaviour.
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Lingering Profanity
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Re: Ban Appeal from John John the Marxist Circus Performer

Post by Lingering Profanity » September 6th, 2018, 8:36 pm

Awful? This is top quality. .This is a fucking masterpiece. This cuts the bullshit and gets straight to the point about everything wrong with the server, and then strangles the point as it beats around the bush.

But yeah, sure, whatever. Sounds good.
Free will is inherently an illusion
Humanity exists in a state of robotic-like trance by default
Do what thou wilt will be the whole of the law
bubberduckydducker
Posts: 327
Joined: July 20th, 2018, 1:22 pm

Re: Ban Appeal from John John the Marxist Circus Performer

Post by bubberduckydducker » September 6th, 2018, 8:37 pm

release this man now
he has a point and it's one of the best damned points i've seen as sec
every round if i even get selected at sec there's always a greytiding faggot about to waltz in
you never know what might happen to you when they start to watlz in
if he didn't do his job and just ran off to touch the clown's dick the assistant could've murderboned as we speak
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Yske
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Re: Ban Appeal from John John the Marxist Circus Performer

Post by Yske » September 6th, 2018, 8:40 pm

You say he has a point, but this is the same guy who arrested and beat a dude multiple times for walking into EVA. Dude was arrested for nearly 20 minutes, and that's the norm for his behaviour. I like a good sec, but continued behaviour like that is borderline griefing. I'd like to get toof's opinion before I do anything, as they were the admin who banned you in the first place.
bubberduckydducker
Posts: 327
Joined: July 20th, 2018, 1:22 pm

Re: Ban Appeal from John John the Marxist Circus Performer

Post by bubberduckydducker » September 6th, 2018, 8:41 pm

that place is fortified for a reason kiddo... :smug:
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Lingering Profanity
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Location: Austin, Texas

Re: Ban Appeal from John John the Marxist Circus Performer

Post by Lingering Profanity » September 6th, 2018, 8:48 pm

If the man was in a cell for 20 minutes, that is because I never set the timer because: 1) Things were chaotic as fuck (See the section on grey tiding faggots) 2) Security was undermanned and I was processing multiple prisoners (See the section on why no one wants to play security) or 3) It's quite possible he was also making death and rape threats aimed directly at me, thereby extending his time.

I do not recall the prisoner in question, but the reason he was in the brig for so long was most likely one of those things.
Free will is inherently an illusion
Humanity exists in a state of robotic-like trance by default
Do what thou wilt will be the whole of the law
User avatar
Yske
Posts: 503
Joined: June 21st, 2018, 9:28 am

Re: Ban Appeal from John John the Marxist Circus Performer

Post by Yske » September 6th, 2018, 9:10 pm

No, the timer was on and he was the only detained in security. You were just sorta being rude. But as it stands, I'm waiting for toof to respond and we'll see what happens from there.
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Xenon
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Re: Ban Appeal from John John the Marxist Circus Performer

Post by Xenon » September 6th, 2018, 9:12 pm

I think that your ban should be brought down to a week, with a 2 week sec ban. This is not the first time you have spammed admins, as you did it on your old account too.
VI SITTER HÄR I VENTEN OCH SPELAR LITE DOTA
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Lxtoofonea
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Re: Ban Appeal from John John the Marxist Circus Performer

Post by Lxtoofonea » September 6th, 2018, 9:57 pm

here is what went down from what i saw. someone ahelps about you meta grudging them, i talk to you, you say it was a joke, i accept that reason. he says you killed him, ask you why, you say it was an accident and that cap gave you permission after the fact, i was going to let this slide but as we are discussing this you gun down a cargo tech who just walked into sec, i give you a 6 day sec ban. you then start spamming ahelps, i tell you to stop, you of course do not, so i give you a day ban to cool off. you then start spamming both my and funky's byond accounts, you spam mine so much that my byond client crashes. so i speak to the other admins about this and all of us agree that this is toxic behavior, even for hippie. so we perma ban you.

Then this amazing fucking ban appeal, holy shit man...
i guess +1 for what funky said.
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